Home Archive By Category "Opinion" (Page 3)
This Is My Stick and No One Else’s

This Is My Stick and No One Else’s

I get it. Maybe you grew up in Freeloadersville, USSR, but where I’m from, if you have a stick, and you got that stick on your own efforts, it is YOUR stick. And THIS stick is MY stick. I’m sure you probably got everything handed to you when you were a pup, and you just […]

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Of Course I Like Your Haircut—Why Do You Ask?

Of Course I Like Your Haircut—Why Do You Ask?

Oh good, you’re home. I’m starving. Oh, by the way, you might want to check in the bathroom closet, because I— Holy guacamole! What? Oh, uh… um… yeah. New haircut. Very new. Wow. I didn’t realize you were in the market for one. Guess that humans do those, don’t they? You don’t just do like […]

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A Love Letter to You, My Hanging Blinds

A Love Letter to You, My Hanging Blinds

You shelter me. You protect me. And when you’re in the way, I plow through you and destroy you, along with a chunk of my human’s security deposit. You are my hanging blinds. And I love you. You can be many things—open, closed, and even kind of halfway where you can see through barely but […]

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