Home Archive By Category "Developing"
School on Lockdown May Have a Second Spider at Large

School on Lockdown May Have a Second Spider at Large

Montpelier, VT—The lockdown in effect at Montpelier High School is still active into its second day as law enforcement works out what to do about the really, really big spider that was discovered yesterday. However, as parents wait for further news, they received the worst news possible: there may be a second spider roaming the […]

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Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Schenectady, NY—Local pun-making horse Brutus was found in a field on the edge of town, standing but unconscious, with his mane shaved off. Brutus belongs to local farmer Mike McMillan, and appears to have been stolen sometime after 8 p.m. Wednesday night and was identified by a pedestrian early Thursday morning. Brutus was quickly loaded […]

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Scientists Prepare Experiment to Catch Red Dot

Scientists Prepare Experiment to Catch Red Dot

Geneva, Switzerland—In a sprawling facility built into an Alpine valley, scientists are preparing an experiment to prove whether or not it is possible to catch the Red Dot, a glowing presence long sought by felines across the globe. The scientists hope to end the debate between millions of cats who claim either that the Red […]

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School On Lockdown After Discovery of Really Big Spider

School On Lockdown After Discovery of Really Big Spider

Montpelier, VT—Montpelier High School is on lockdown after the discovery of a really big spider on the walls of one of the hallways. The Washington County sheriff issued a statement confirming the report. “We are aware of the situation and are taking action. Please stay clear of the school grounds until we can give further […]

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Horse Who Made Too Many Puns Put Out to Pasture

Horse Who Made Too Many Puns Put Out to Pasture

Schenectady, NY—Local horse Brutus has been forced out of the barn by his rancher, Mike McMillan, following the horse’s unceasing barrage of puns while in the barn. McMillan spoke with a reporter Thursday while a defiant Brutus pranced around in the field behind him. “I can’t take it any longer, I really can’t,” McMillan told […]

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New Mom a Wreck After Getting Only 11 Hours of Sleep

New Mom a Wreck After Getting Only 11 Hours of Sleep

Sacramento, CA—New mother Smokey is an absolute wreck after losing sleep several nights in a row following the birth of her first litter of kittens. Barely squeezing in 11 hours of sleep most days, she stares blearily as her rollicking kittens return to nurse. “I honestly don’t know how other mothers do it,” Smokey told […]

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