Oh. Drat. You’re giving me that look, and you’re also saying something kind of loudly, and you have the angry eyes going on. I’m guessing this is not the litter box. Did I get it wrong?

Again?

My bad. Here, I’ll stop. I was only halfway done, so I’ll just go finish in the right one.

Look, I realize that occasionally I get it wrong, but I remember which one is the actual litter box, like, at least 80 percent of the time. That’s pretty good in my book.

And yeah, there have been a few times where I did remember what the correct one was but went somewhere else anyway. Like that one time when the little humans were over and started chasing me around, I might have gotten a little stressed and decided to go in the first place I could get away from them. Is it my fault it was a box of LEGOs? But hey, you apparently washed them out pretty well, because I can’t smell myself in there at all now!

Anyway, here it is. Fresh dirt, round container, this has to be right. Doo dee doo dee doo… no? You’re still yelling, so I’m guessing I got it wrong again. What is a “flower pot?” Is that what this thing is? Looks like a poop zone to me, but okay. But you know what, no worries: I still have a little bit left, I’ll just go to the real litter box, which I’m sure is around here… somewhere… maybe it was in the kitchen?

Ah, here. Seems like a weird place to keep it, and you forgot to put some litter in here, but hey, I won’t nag; ain’t nobody got time for everything. Mmm… ah, yep, looks like the tank is finally empty. And since there’s no litter, no need to worry about burying it—

What?! You’re yelling again? What’s a guy gotta do? Where exactly are you hiding this thing? If that wasn’t it, I—wait, whoa, you’re picking me up now. Okay, are you taking me to the litter box? Whoa, hey, you’re taking me outside? Normally I’d be thrilled, but it’s winter and all the birds are gone, so I’m not real—

Ugh, fine. Just slam the door on me while I’m talking. I guess… oh… oh wow, this is neat. The whole world’s a litter box out here. Wow, the ground is so loose and pliable. Shoot, I could go anywhere out here! This is great. Next time I need to go, I’ll just scratch at the door for you to let me out.

So, uh, anyway, I already went, so can you let me back in?

Hello?