Home OpinionSis, Don’t Move. There’s a Bird, Like, RIGHT There.
Sis, Don’t Move. There’s a Bird, Like, RIGHT There.

Sis, Don’t Move. There’s a Bird, Like, RIGHT There.

Whoa. Sis. Act cool. There is a bird, like right there. Don’t move, or you might spook it.

Ooooh man, would you look at it? That is one plump turkey. Not literally a turkey—I think it’s a blue jay or something, but it’s definitely been making some return trips to the buffet, if you know what I mean.

Why are you still eating? This food the humans give us isn’t gonna compare to what’s in our grasp. If we play this right, tonight is gonna be oiseau à la carte! Can’t you hear me? Bird. Basically on a platter. Right there.

Sis. Sis. It’s looking the other way! Okay, here’s the plan: I stalk around to the right and hide behind this bush, you crouch down behind that grass over there, and when I give the signal, we attack. No way that bird is faster than us. We are two femme fatale félins!

Okay, I’m moving over. Just gotta be carefuuuuul… alright, I’m in place. WHY ARE YOU STILL EATING?! Sis, we have a chance at the biggest catch of our lives and you’re acting like you don’t even care. Can’t you see that scrumptious avian hunk over there? My mouth is watering like all get out, and you act like you couldn’t be happier to have more dried kibble.

Fine, I’ll do it myself. That bird may be plump, but a streetwise cat like me can take it down solo, don’t you worry. I’ll even share the kill with you after I’m done, because that’s the kind of good sister I am.

Alright, here I go. One… two… CCCHHHAAAAARRRRGE!! HIYAAA!!

Drat. Draaaat. It barely got away. Did you see my flying leap? Pretty sure I could have vaulted over a whole human with a leap like that. That bird might have been a little round, but it has a pair of wings on it, that’s for sure.

Well, Sis, I’m sad I couldn’t have done it with you, but—wait, why are you looking behind me? Is there another—

HOLY MACKEREL!

Run, Sis! Jeepers, the thing is dive-bombing us! Oh man, those talons look terrifying! I think we can make it across the yard if we—oh, under the car, good idea. Much closer.

Phew. That was close. Man, if I hadn’t acted so quickly, we might have gotten a good scratching. Good thing you have me around, huh?

Popular Right Meow

Wait, I Forget, Is This Not the Litter Box?

Wait, I Forget, Is This Not the Litter Box?

Dog Achieves Zen, Realizes the Good Boy Was Inside Him All Along

Dog Achieves Zen, Realizes the Good Boy Was Inside Him All Along

Dog Pretty Sure Owner Can’t See Her Staring At Pie

Dog Pretty Sure Owner Can’t See Her Staring At Pie

Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Cat Prepares to Have Difficult But Necessary Conversation With Human Roommate About Hygiene Habits

Cat Prepares to Have Difficult But Necessary Conversation With Human Roommate About Hygiene Habits