At first it was cute. Then it was strange. Now I am genuinely terrified. I don’t know how it happened or what it means, but my cat keeps posing for photos, and it’s completely freaking me out.
This morning, for instance, I walked onto my porch and found her laying on her back on a black blanket amidst a collage of leaves, all aligned perfectly. What does this mean?! Did she literally arrange the leaves like this herself?
And before you conclude that this is the work of a sneaky neighbor, just know that this isn’t all happening when the cat is outside. Some of the weirder things have been when she’s inside the house with me.
A few weeks ago I heard her meowing from the bedroom, and when I went in to investigate I found her on my bed in an adorable cat sweater. WTF? She doesn’t even own a cat sweater!
Is my house haunted? Did the ghost possess my cat? Does the wayward spirit want nothing more than to get Likes and karma from posting pictures of these events to the Internet? Apparently!
Or take last week, when she dragged a whole bunch of red ribbon out of a drawer, arranged it tastefully on the floor, and lay there until I came in and took some photos. What gives? Most cats would have shredded that ribbon if they’d had the chance, but she was serene until I got photographic evidence. That post got 12,000 hearts and 105 comments on Instagram.
It’s getting kind of overwhelming, to be honest. People give me all these compliments, but I’m starting to wonder who the master is here. The other night she woke me up meowing like a maniac and didn’t shut up until I crawled out of bed, got my DSLR, and snapped a few pictures of her moonlit silhouette in the window. That is not how this relationship is supposed to work!
But weirdest of all is that if I take a picture and don’t post it for a few days, she sits by my camera and glares at me every time I walk past. As soon as I plug the camera in and upload it, she goes back to normal behavior.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I wish there was some other way I could pay penance.