I just want you to know two things up front so that my opinion doesn’t sound in any way bigoted or closed-minded.
First, I do like cats. Really, they’re great. Remember Cooties? She was a great cat. She welcomed me into the home and showed me the ropes back when I was adopted. It was great. Rest in peace, Cooties.
Second, I like to think that I am a dog who is open to new things.
So with those things in mind, I’m really, really not sure how I feel about this new cat.
To be fair, you didn’t actually tell me you were getting a new cat. Might loop me in next time, hint hint. But it’s not a big deal. Humans work in mysterious ways, yada yada.
So when you brought this cat home, it was a bit of a shock. I was kind of hoping one day you’d get another dog, so when I saw you walk in holding this odd creature, it was a bit of a letdown. And then you started calling it “Bugs”? What kind of cat name is that? Cats catch bugs!
Perhaps this is my own ignorance, but do cats normally hop around this much? Cooties might have been an outlier, but I distinctly remember her walking most of the time. And what’s up with those ears? Cooties’s ears were short and pointy, but these are, like, super long.
I would it ask myself, but communication has been awfully sparse between us, actually. In fact, it hasn’t uttered a single word I recognize. Maybe it’s foreign? Did you do the international adoption thing?
How do I even refer to it? Is it a he? A she? I try sniffing around its crotch but it always hops away.
And heavens, so much energy. Was I like this when I was a puppy? The thing leapfrogs over me before I even know what’s happening. Maybe it’s the weird food you’re feeding it. Not like any cat food I’ve ever seen.
I’ll try to make this work. I really hope I can connect with it on some level soon. ‘Cause right now this is really weird.