Helloooo? Anybody home? I was just under these covers minding my own business, but it sounded like you were in a hurry to get out the door this morning. Such a hurry, in fact, that you didn’t remember to put me in the basement.
So if you’re gone, and I’m up here, that means…
Free to peruse the whole house without your watchful eye and ear on me at all times. Free to roam the counters. Free to sharpen my claws on the couch without you interrupting me before I’m finished.
Sure, all my cat toys are in the basement, but I like to think that anything can become a toy. That Xbox controller? A string to play with. That curtain? A climbing wall. The pantry? Full of a menagerie of interesting things to sniff.
Yes, indeed, I shall claim this whole house as my own today.
Though I just remembered that I need to poop, and the litter box is in the basement. Hm. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to improvise. This potted plant seems like as good a spot as any.
Oh shoot! The door! The door is opening! Someone is trying to break—ah, it’s just you. Forgot something, eh? Hey, wait, put me down! No, not the basement! I was gonna have the best day ever! Noooo!
Well, fine. Nice to see you, too. Hope you have fun at work, jerk.