Home NewsLocal Cat Preps for 4 A.M. Spaz-Out Routine
Local Cat Preps for 4 A.M. Spaz-Out Routine

Local Cat Preps for 4 A.M. Spaz-Out Routine

Cheyenne, WY—Pulling her leg back and giving it a solid stretch, local cat Tycha is preparing her hamstrings so she can be ready to rip around the apartment promptly at 4 a.m. the next morning.

In the waning hours of the afternoon Thursday, she settled into position in the living room and began warming herself up for what would certainly be a grueling routine the following morning.

“It’s important to stay limber,” Tycha told the Post, “and the best time to prepare is the day before. If you wait too long, you risk getting a cramp, or worse, having to skip out entirely.”

There are other challenges to ensuring a successful spaz-out as well. There have been times when Tycha’s owners have locked her in a room all night, times when Tycha accidentally slept through the appointment, and times when her owners were away the whole night and she felt unmotivated to run around when no one was there to experience it.

“I realize it’s valuable to completely flip my lid even if there is no one around, but having people there to support me makes it a lot more likely. It’s hard work, you know.”

This particular time, Tycha intends to start out in the doorway of her owners’ bedroom, where she’ll begin with a series of trills at higher and higher volumes.

“Like an engine revving up,” she explained.

She then intends to bolt up and down the hallway as long as she can before finally running into the kitchen, where the smooth floor should enable her to skid into the trash can, perhaps even knocking it over.

“That’s always a great finish, because sometimes there’s something good in there like leftover chicken or pork. It’s my favorite post-workout snack. My humans often congratulate me when they find it in the morning and let me go outside for a while. Very thoughtful of them—it’s great for cooling the muscles off.”

Tycha hopes nothing comes up that prevents her from absolutely losing her mind tonight, but she’s confident that even if something does, it’s only a minor setback.

“Worst-case scenario, I miss one night. But if that happens, there’s always tomorrow. The important thing is never quitting.”

Popular Right Meow

Dog Pretty Sure Owner Can’t See Her Staring At Pie

Dog Pretty Sure Owner Can’t See Her Staring At Pie

Dog Achieves Zen, Realizes the Good Boy Was Inside Him All Along

Dog Achieves Zen, Realizes the Good Boy Was Inside Him All Along

Wait, I Forget, Is This Not the Litter Box?

Wait, I Forget, Is This Not the Litter Box?

Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Pun Horse Found Shaved, Mane Suspect Identified

Cat Prepares to Have Difficult But Necessary Conversation With Human Roommate About Hygiene Habits

Cat Prepares to Have Difficult But Necessary Conversation With Human Roommate About Hygiene Habits