New York, NY—The UN Feline Rights Commission met for a special session Thursday to discuss a report from a cat whose owner switched to a new brand of cat food.
The report comes from a cat named Blossoms in Reno, NV. It states that the cat’s owner, Bert Klepka, returned from the grocery store the previous day with an unfamiliar brand of cat food. Blossoms states that she expected a new bag of food soon, seeing as she had just torn a hole into the old bag earlier in the week to find that it was almost empty.
When she heard the new bag being carried in, she states that she became excited, immediately weaving between the human’s feet in hopes that he might stop and feed her right there.
When he set the bag down, however, Blossoms noticed something was amiss. The bag looked different—the color, the texture, even the size was off. Her human returned with a pair of kitchen scissors a moment later to cut the bag open, and when he scooped the contents into her bowl, Blossoms states she ran to the bowl because the sound was so familiar, even though she had already seen enough to indicate there was a problem. When she reached the bowl, her fears were confirmed. The sad concoction in front of her was identical to her normal food in virtually every way, except that it was completely wrong.
“I am appalled and embarrassed,” she writes, “that my owner, who has otherwise been so loyal, would be capable of such an act.”
A similar report was released several weeks ago concerning a situation in Florida, but the Commission did not investigate further since it was determined the food was the same brand, but from a different store.
In the Reno case, however, officials have preliminary evidence to suggest the food is, in fact, different.
“A local investigator has already taken samples of both the new and old food,” said Sprinkles, the deputy in charge of North American investigations. “The findings are clear: these are not the same brand. They may as well be from different universes. Blossoms is clearly in mortal danger of starvation unless we act quickly.”
The commission is working on verifying the incident further and plans to release its findings soon.