Dallas, TX—Local Maine Coon Shadow is taking refuge behind a new set of curtains to enjoy them for a moment before absolutely tearing them to shreds.

Moments after hearing her owners pull the vacuum out of the closet down the hall, Shadow slunk behind the new curtains in the bedroom window to wait out the horrible racket.

“Curtains are great for hiding from that awful contraption,” she told a reporter, referring to the vacuum, “and they mute the sound a little to boot. It’s really just perfect.”

After watching her owners carefully hang the new curtains this morning, Shadow had been waiting for an opportune time to get to know them better before inevitably destroying every square inch of them. When her owners pulled out the vacuum, she knew the time was right.

Asked how long she planned to stay behind the curtains before utterly annihilating them, she was unsure. “I really do like to enjoy that new-curtain smell for a little while. You can’t experience that later.”

Once the vacuuming was complete, she stayed behind the curtains a little bit longer. “I want to enjoy this moment. The sun on my face, the new curtains behind me, whole and unblemished. These times don’t last long.”

She elicited an audible purr while taking in the moments prior to the virtual demise of these curtains.

“That said,” she lamented wistfully while turning to gaze up at their heights, “I can’t deny my impulses. All good things must come to an end.”

She nuzzled the fresh curtains a few times before rearing up and digging her claws into the fabric.

“Mmmmm… polyester,” she whispered, eyes closed, as she got to work. “This is truly one of life’s great joys.”