In the latest attempt to encourage the sexually uninterested species to procreate in captivity, zookeepers are switching tactics to the as-yet-unused method of peer pressure. Getting pandas to mate in captivity has been a struggle for many decades, and researchers and zookeepers have tried a number of methods to get the stubborn species to breed. […]
Read More
Uh oh. Danger. Something is happening. Don’t you hear that? Chester across the street is barking. Or maybe it’s Daisy. Could be Rope. It also kind of sounds like Benji. You know what, I don’t know which dog it is, but they’re barking. So I better bark too. Bark! Bark bark bark! Bark! What? Why […]
Read More
Philadelphia, PA—Following a multi-year, multi-million-dollar study which proved there is a direct link between amount of daily sleep and cognitive performance, researchers have made the logical conclusion that cats are the smartest animal in existence. Cats have long been considered among the most skilled predators, having the highest hunt-to-kill ratio of any mammal, but the […]
Read More
Ah, welcome home, human. Hey, can you come over here and pet me? Pleeeease? I would be very ingratiated to you if you did. Oh, what’s this, you’re getting the food out? Ah, makes sense. I suppose that is normally my first request when you get home. Mm, smells good, but I really just want […]
Read More
Ann Arbor, MI—After waking up 45 minutes before his alarm to the sensation of his cat’s tail swishing against his face, local mechanic Keith Swinton realized that his cat is either boycotting or simply unaware of the existence of Daylight Savings Time. Swinton was sure to set his clocks back one hour the night before in […]
Read More
A new study published earlier this month rocks the world of mammal biology with the finding that all foxes are actually just misunderstood dogs. The study compared DNA and behavior between 30 dogs and 30 foxes, concluding that foxes were in fact dogs, but were just kind of weird sometimes. “I’m glad that my work […]
Read More
At first it was cute. Then it was strange. Now I am genuinely terrified. I don’t know how it happened or what it means, but my cat keeps posing for photos, and it’s completely freaking me out. This morning, for instance, I walked onto my porch and found her laying on her back on a […]
Read More
Brooklyn, NY—Jumping up onto a shelf and heaving each dish off one by one, local cat and noted Trump supporter Georgio has declared an all-out war on the fine china in his home. Georgio decided it was time to do something after listening to the television programs his human owners watch. It became clear that […]
Read More
Bend, OR—After being passed around for a series of hugs, local cat Scamper is being bid tearful goodbyes by each member of his second family down the street before they moved out of state. The family of five is leaving today to move to Arkansas after being in the area for the past twelve years, […]
Read More
Whoa. Sis. Act cool. There is a bird, like right there. Don’t move, or you might spook it. Ooooh man, would you look at it? That is one plump turkey. Not literally a turkey—I think it’s a blue jay or something, but it’s definitely been making some return trips to the buffet, if you know […]
Read More